Friday, June 12, 2009

I've been tagged

Well Miss Alex the Girl tagged me for this post. She was tagged by Pam at Pam's Perspective
Here are the rules:

~Open your first photo folder
~Scroll down to the 10th photo
~Post that photo and story on your blog
~Tag five friends to do the same.

I must admit that I did have to fudge a little. My first folder are things for my blog and the tenth item was a copy of my button. Not a very interesting story. So I decided to pick up an idea from Alex and use a photo of our middle child.


Yep this is the photo that was tenth in that folder and yep this is how it was saved. I was messing around with my photo editing program one day and did this to one of his photos. This is Mr. Skyler Quinn. He's a beauty of a person, even if I do say so myself. Skyler was a complete surprise to us. My Dh and I had our first child in '94. We had not used any protection after that, and I was told we would probably not have any more children because of my inner workings. We had adjusted to that. Unfortunately 11 years after our first son was born my Dh and I were going through a rough patch. The kind of "patch" that says maybe it's time you each went your own way. Then we discovered that I had miraculously became pregnant. My Dh was less than happy. I think it actually made him shy away more. We did all sit down after seeing the first ultra-sound and finding out it was going to be a boy to choose a name. It was our son, The Boy, that picked his name. He first suggested Skywalker. Yes, as in Luke Skywalker. Then he thought about Tyler. Then he put the two together and got Skyler. Now I know the name Skyler has been around, but that is how The Boy decided on naming his brother and it worked for us. Finally with the strain of our stupid adult "problems", when I was 7 months pregnant I and The Boy left my Dh and stayed with a friend.

I remember when Sky was born, the next day, a cleaning woman came into my hospital room. Sky was quietly lying in his little hospital crib. The cleaning lady looked down at him, smiled and said "Oh he belongs to you?" I was a little nervous at that statement. I weakly smiled and tentatively replied "Yes". The woman quickly clarified that this little guy had all the nurses in love with him and that he had quite a personality. She went on to explain that they all felt he should be wearing a top hat and carrying a cane. She finished her tasks and left my room. Of course not before saying a good-bye to my wee one. I looked down at this wee babe and wondered what it was he had managed to do in the hospital nursery during the five hours I had slept. I'm not sure. But I know he and I have a special bond. Don't get me wrong I love all my children. Oh I know we say that and it might sound silly and contrite, but I do. But Sky and I have a special connection. He's very different than his older brother. Our oldest learned quickly and easily. Skyler always learns "differently" He crawled differently, he didn't walk until he was 14 months. He really didn't say much until he was about two. He communicated with his eyes, which are absolutely beautiful. I can't even tell you what color they are because to list one color seems to not describe them correctly. He hates loud noises. Yet will lay in his bed, upstairs with the window open and if he hears my DFaN children outside will yell to them. It's funny he sounds like the character from Street Car named Desire yelling "Stella, Stella".
I have had conversations with my Dh (who eventually came to his senses and joined us to be family once more obviously), my mum, my oldest friend and my DFaN about whether Sky might be autistic, or slow or have a learning disability. And every time I have this concern he amazes me as if to reassure me that he's getting the information, but just in different ways. Now I'm sure some of you will shake your head and tsk tsk me, for what I'm about to divulge, so go right ahead. One day I had one of those "worried mom" conversations with my Dh, not around Sky of course, conveying to my Dh my concern for Sky's language skills. The next day Sky is sitting at the table playing with his toys he looks out the window and sees a plane overhead, out of his moth pops "What da hell?" I about fell over and asked him to repeat himself. He said it again. Now this is where the head shaking would come in. I didn't correct him. He doesn't say it all the time and when he says it he really means it. The funny thing is it's not one of my phrases. I have my oldest to thank for that. There is something else that makes me scratch my head about his wee guy. In our family we have this round robin joke that we do every once in awhile. It started with my dad when I was small and I did it with our first born, before his brother's came along. It starts with a burp. You then instruct the child "say excuse me". If you burp shortly there after the child will try and correct you by telling you to "say excuse me" You then respond with "excuse you" The child usually makes another attempt to get you to say "excuse me" by trying to tell you to say "excuse me", or by saying ok say "excuse you". All the while you just keep turning it around and responding with "excuse you". As I said I used to do this when The Boy was about 7 or 8. Heck I might have even done it up until he was about 10. But I know I have not done this since the youngest children have been born. And my Dh does not mess around with this type of verbal tom foolery. So the other day Sky burped. He was standing there watch tv. Out of habit, and without intention of verbal sparring, I corrected him with "say excuse me" he glances over his shoulder and says "excuse you". I look at him and smile and then I said again more purposeful and with some authority "say excuse me" He looks back at me with a glint in his eyes and a small smile and says "excuse you" It gave me a chill (but not in a bad way). This child that sometimes causes me concern that he's not learning like he should, that frankly there might be something amiss with him, that I have this bond with, always seems to amaze me, always reminds me of how much love I have inside, and to notice the little simple things instead of letting them go by, can do this verbal sparring knowingly. Intersting.

Now I bet Miss Alex is going to be sorry she tagged me. And I will probably do a post on The Boy and the smallest sometime, just to be a fair mama.

So my turn to tag five people:

AmyBel

Darcy

Shortly

Lina

Knitspun